Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
