It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
