mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
