i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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