is your mom at the bar?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
