if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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