i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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