i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
