She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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