When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
