All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
jump out the window naked night went bad
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