I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
