i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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