finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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