how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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