We named our party play list daddy issues
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
