my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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