Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
