Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
