I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
