I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize