I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
