So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
