I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Houston, we have a squirter
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
