So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize