help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
