Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
