I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
