Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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