If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize