Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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