STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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