upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
