dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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