Grow some girl-balls and come out already
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
