The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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