That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
