Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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