I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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