so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
