I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
