K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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