That's when you crack a 10am beer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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