I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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