I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
