She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
