Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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