it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
