Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
