he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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