Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize