if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
