I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
