I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
