You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
