Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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