PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
