well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize