As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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