farters have to be the big spoon...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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